5jan had came by and left many days ago, and i feel surreal being officially 21. many said i was the first to turn 21 amongst their friends, but seriously, i dun feel 21. i still feel insecure, i'm still unsure of how the world goes, and i still lack the confidence which i thought i should have by the time i'm 21. i still feel 18, or even 16.

being 21 do has its benefits, such as watching r21 (not that i really want) movies, going into the casinos (not that i really want to gamble), no need to get parents to sign indemnity forms, and the list goes on. but am i really ready to be responsible for myself now? am i truly free? not necessary. after all, parents will always regard their children as children because to them we will never grow up. 10 years down the road my mum would probably be fussing about whether i have my meals regularly.

on the other hand, being 21 means that i'm a year older, and i can't pretend to be young too much, even though i still look as though i'm a secondary, if not junior college, student. a few weeks ago, i showed gina a jacket which i liked, and she pointed out that after a few years i wouldn't be able to wear it, because it's kinda kiddy printed. as females, we would have to buy lesser loud t-shirts, and go for muted, basic tops so as to fit our age. i'm glad that i still have 3.5years in university, because it's probably the last few years which i can be crazy and have the best time of my life.

i still have some laments about being 21yearsold, but i guess i should stop now because life shouldn't be wasted dwelling on those stuff when i can do other things like reading books etc. Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child's Brimstone is worth reading, because i'm reading it any moment that i can. not to mention the readings i would need to start covering in order to improve on my gpa this sem.

school has started yesterday, and i went for my first lecture tired, even though it was a 1.30pm lecture. my body is still accustomed to just having fun everyday, thus i tuned out towards the end of the lecture as the lecturer gave her introductory lecture - it was just an overview but she just kept talking! zomg.

went for another lecture today. even though it's a topic that i'm kinda interested - Rise of The West, but after reading the course outlines and stuff i find that it's not suitable for me, and many people had said that i was crazy to have 23aus when the recommended aus for me is 18/19 aus. (i had 21aus last sem). thus i've dropped it, and have my tuesdays free! if only the 204 lecture (which is tmr) can be put on monday/thursday/friday, because i only have that lecture on my wednesdays! i foresee me ponning alot of sessions. lol. :x

it has been a great 2009, and hopefully i would have an even better 2010!
5:01 PM