as usual, i had a wonderful christmas!

first off we have our xmas @ 47 on 23rd where plenty had turned up! lotsa good food (think the wonderful spaghetti cooked by shaggy's mum, meatballs by jieli, custard tarts by laoda and jiangchuan, chewy junior, honeydew sago by gina, pizzas etc!) and drinks flowed around, and we had like 5hours of fun! but before that had netball match which made me damn tired and i slept through the programmers' gathering and the preparation process of the party!

christmas eve was first spent in hall as we went to support snooker finals before going home for dinner! then on christmas day went to hweepeng's house to play! this time we dun draw out christmas tree from mahjong paper cuz we have a real tree! as usual we had our steamboat! (during the brainstorm process of the 47 party i suggested steamboat and everyone stared at me! but it's like, the weather is cold, so it's best to huddle around a hot steamboat and eat warm food!) then we played wii and raving rabbids is damn retarded!!! and cooking mama! then we played mahjong! woots. :D

on boxing day i nua-ed at home before going for zone meeting and after that went to suntec city to shop around abit! then off to home i go. had dinner and then went back to hall to play carrom and get ready for hockey the next day.

hockey was fun for the first game because we won, but the next game against hall 3 was a nightmare for me because 1) i tio whacked at my leg by a hockey stick in the first half and everyone asked about my shin guard and i said the wound was just above the shin guard. ohwells, and 2) i sprained my ankle in the second half and it's a bad sprain cuz it's still kinda swollen! ): when i woke up this morning i can barely move, thus i didn't go for BEAST recce and went to see doc. and as a result i've also missed out for carrom games cuz i told them i wouldn't be around for the games. but well, my skills are kinda cui so it's ok la.

this unexpected break had helped me fill my sleep quota cuz i haven't been sleeping enough these few days even though it seems like i'm quite free but i'm not. i thought i would be free to read my books after i'm done with my christmas gifts but apparently i'm not. ): probably because of my unexpected party too. judging from the guest list i'm quite dreading the small number that will turn up on that day. ): but at least my family will be there so i think wun be that bad yeah. but this means that i'm not gonna sleep on my bed at home until like the following week? cuz after the party on saturday i'm going back to hall for all the games and stuff. haiz.

less than 2 weeks to the end of hols. booooo.
5:27 PM

it has been a busy week with the start of IHG (Inter Hall Games) and IHRG (Inter Hall Recreational Games). i was practically all over the place, from NIE courts to SRC pool and the bball and tennis courts to Hall 8 function hall where all the recreational games (except snooker at Nanyang House) will be held at. anyway check out the number 11 in the picture. i think his hair is damnnn cool! :D

today was the first rest day where i get to wake up late (not really late at 10plus when i slept at 3plus) and there's only one match today. later gonna go out to jp to find presents for the 2 gift exchanges that i'm having next week. and i'm not going for the asjab chalet. ohwell.

someone commented that i have too many things on my plate, and i might tire myself out as i go for the matches and trainings. like on thursday i've walked from src to nie courts (which took me like 12 mins but if you look at the map they are actually kinda far away from each other) and i've went up to south spine via student walk (from hall after walking back from src) to pass the cumberbands to yongsiang. and that's on top of the other events that i'm missing out, like Adjam which i've wanted to go ever since i've heard about it. i wasn't chosen and i've ended up going for the bbq only. but come to think about it, i have managed to do other stuff like carrom training and supporting my hall ppl for the games. and the bbq was enough to make me feel rejuvenated and that i actually do have a life outside my hall. another person had said that i've sacrificed too much of my time for hall.

but well, i only have one life, so might as well do what i really want! follow where my heart goes. and enjoy the last 2 weeks of holidays before school starts! not to mention christmas next week! (:
4:27 PM

i'm like sleeping early these days (ie around 1am) because of IHG! ytd was the first day and i'm already quite tired. lol! ytd morning had netball match, and then went back to hall and enjoyed the free aircon! after that went for lunch with gina before going back to my room and took a nap (with my contacts on)! then went to src to watch water polo guys with yuenyin and gina but we were late! only watched for like 10mins. lol. :x but we won! (for both netball and waterpolo) :D

went down to play carrom with peizhi and we played 3 games in like 1.5hrs (which is DAMN LONG!) lol. was damn funny as we play cuz funny things would happen, and clement foo kept suan-ing me la!!!! TSKKKK. then everyone in the games room went out for dinner but i waited for gina to come down. joined them (gina desmond stacy yuenyin vanessa hansel yuwen). damn sinful cuz i ate western food twice! (ok la dinner was jap. lol) saw FOOT ppl and chatted with them! haha. (:

after dinner went back to games room to play carrom! but i ended up watching gina and kiatweng play darts before i went out to help ziai to decorate the sports ihg board. after a while i went in to continue watching gina compete with clement. after that played carrom with clement. then went up to meeting room for ktv session with kiatweng sinyee melvin! was damn ups! gonna sleep soon cuz need to wake up early again!

我假裝無所謂
才看不到心被擰碎
12:57 AM

i've ignored, or you can say avoided, them for the past few days. just now when i was looking through some archives i saw one of the links, and i decided to click it. i read through, and when i saw a crucial part, there was only a teeny weeny bit of..'hmmm'. i realised it doesn't matter to me anymore. whatever or however things had turned out, i don't care anymore.

home had been great for the past couple of days, except that i forgot to bring the charger back. i nearly wanted not to go back hall tomorrow morning (and skip netball training again) when i received a msg from wilmond saying that kayak meeting is cancelled. that's how much i did not want to go back to hall. but my skills are bad, the first netball match is on tuesday, and there's things i need to sort out back in hall, so i guess i should just go back hall early in the morning and go for the netball training as planned. i just need to get used to having more people in hall again.
11:54 PM

shiyun had cautioned me not to do it when i told her about it. she said i would become a moral hazard if i do so. and she was right. so many problems had sprang up along the way, and in my haste to confirm everything, i just kept screwing everyone up. it wasn't intentional, i was just trying to fix a meeting where everyone can make it cuz i do believe meeting would be more useful than emailing each other. and with the deadline looming near, a meeting where everyone gets to thrash out their views would be more efficient. i think i forgot all the crap stuff that i've endured in the past.

and you know what, it really sickens me. especially on top of the other stuff i have to do. which also make me a moral hazard cuz i'm putting more than what i can handle on my plate. for starters i will stop interfering too much into things that don't relate to me at all. it also tears me trying to make many decisions all the time, and it would make me wanna hide in my ostrich hole again.
3:38 PM

通常大多數的人，都會知道自己在做甚麼，不過只有極少數的人，除了知道自己在做甚麼之外，還會去想想看，有沒有更好的方式跟辦法，可以讓自己做得更好。一思不夠，那就再思。

～韓文耀
4:15 AM

하지말걸 그랬어 모른척 해버릴걸
안보이는 것처럼 볼수없는 것처럼
널 아예 보지말걸 그랬나봐

도망칠걸 그랬어 못들은척 그럴걸
듣지도 못하는 척 들을 수 없는 것처럼 아예
네 사랑 듣지 않을 걸

말도없이 사랑을 알게 하고 말도 없이 사랑을 내게 주고
숨결 하나조차 널 담게 해놓고 이렇게 도망가니까
말도없이 사랑이 나를떠나 말도없이 사랑이 나를 버려
무슨 말을 할지 다문 입이 혼자서 놀란것 같아
말도 없이 와서

왜 이렇게 아픈지 왜 자꾸만 아픈지
널 볼 수 없다는거 네가 없다는거 말고
모두 예전과 똑같은건데

말도없이 사랑을 알게 하고 말도없이 사랑을 내게주고
숨결 하나조차 널 담게 해놓고 이렇게 도망가니까
말도없이 사랑이 나를떠나 말도없이 사랑이 나를 버려
무슨 말을 할지 다문 입이 혼자서 놀란것 같아
말도없이 눈물이 흘러내려 말도없이 가슴이 무너져가

말도없는 사랑을 기다리고 말도없는 사랑을 아파하고
넋이 나가버려 바보가 되버려 하늘만 보고 우니까
말도없이 이별이 나를 찾아 말도없이 이별이 내게와서

준비도 못하고 너를 보내야하는 내맘이 놀란것 같아
말도없이 와서

말도없이 왔다가 말도없이 떠나는
지나간 열병처럼 잠시 아프면 되나봐 자꾸 흉터만 남게되니까
2:49 AM

為甚麼當我想放棄的時候，我總是無法如願以償呢？
5:30 AM