All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world
Mad world

*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xKPk5RvcU4
(embed are disabled so yeah. watch the top8 version instead of the top2 cuz i just find it nicer)

*
watched the video after i woke up. i was watching Adam Lambert's American Music Awards performance (because i finally decided to read the news abt his racy performance) before i wiki-ed him and then go search for his American Idol videos. this is the song (Mad World by Gary Jules, originally by Tears for Fears) that totally blew me away. i love the haunted-feel arrangement at the beginning! no wonder simon cowell gave him a standing ovation.

less than 24 hours to the end of the paper, and about 17 hours to start of the paper! and i haven't complete my readings. holy cow. but bobian, i need to vent out cuz i just have the urge to type on my keyboard. lol. yes i know i'm going bonkers. especially after last night when i practically got the shock of my life.

and then there's _____. darn it. my thoughts and emotions are all tangled up now. can't wait for the escapades after tomorrow.
3:42 PM

比想像中更痛 你真的沒回頭
我命令眼淚不許失控
回憶不跟你走 都擠在我心中
我就有責任讓它值得被珍重

謝謝你曾讓我難過 謝謝我沒有想太多
當愛情左盼右顧的時候

我眼淚都笑了 誰還想哭呢
再勇敢地站著 找回光和熱
面對你的時候 我不會捨不得
因為你已是過客 因為路有些曲折
是美的

心碎成了沙漠 就快開鑿綠洲
我沒有時間不知所措
你溫柔的雙手 本就不屬於我
又何必在乎它以後屬於誰呢

我眼淚都笑了 誰還會哭呢
來不及完美的 就唱首離歌
想起你的時候 我不是卑微的
反而我沒有遺憾 因為我已愛過你
深深的
*
或許我並沒有想像中的那麼喜歡，又或者因為他現在不在我周圍的關係。
現在的我並沒有想像中的難過。
即使我知道現在的他，可能在做一個會影響到我的決定。

一切的情緒，就等到他回來的時候才去整理吧。
到了那個時候，我也考完了，也能好好想想有關他的事了。
4:36 PM

My body is telllling me im reaching my 30s.... says:
and dun feel he is avoiding u, haha. wat if he isnt? then it makes u accusing him wo.. hahhaa.. be norm and be straight to him, like to be with him, then just spend time with him, no need think so much. haha. can means can, canont, u two make out at the end u will also marry off with other guys..
if u cry n feel awacked (*duno how to spell)..while he feels ok, then become he might think u are the weird one to make distances...
then jalat
haha
so nvm him, be it he avoiding or he is not
u be urself
hahha
HAPPY!
tts how u view. then everything is clearer and u know wat u shall do next =)
haha, might be sad, u might be a girl, but wat im telling u is all human shall do
see things +vely, and if ppl say dun think so much, IS BLUFF WAN. confirm will think wan
hahhahaa
so instead of not thinking
go continue n think of it, y not, but view it naturally n +vely..
and u will see wider things
*
woo. i have fantastic seniors in hall! it was words like this that have helped me up along the way. (: and also thanks to fangyi who listened to me one late night when she is having a paper like in less than 48hrs!

i'm not completely fine yet, but i reckon i can survive. as in, i'm learning to deal with the issue by trying to be non-chalant as possible, while at the same time try to engage myself more in his life, such that i might be able to go back to the times when we can chat alot. thus i'm not giving up as yet, gonna just remain as a good friend! i'm giving myself a few more months before he would be like out of sight for a couple of months. in the meantime i will also try not to emo!

and i shouldn't, cuz christmas is in less than a mth's time! (:

anyways, left with one more paper! gonna nua until like maybe sat or sun before i will sit down proper and chiong for my last paper on tuesday! after that it would be gatherings, movies, k-ing sessions, trainings and adjam! (: but right now i need to figure out what i shld do when most of my girlfriends are not in hall! ):
10:44 PM

it's a song that keeps playing in my mind now. i love the way how the saxophonists played the piece. or maybe it's because i was captivated by the saxophone melody when i first heard it from someone. yesterday he played the all the way until chorus!

student tan said things would probably change a few weeks later and you know what, he may be right. but i'm afraid to admit it because to a certain extent i'm still unwilling to let go.
8:47 PM

they all could have been better. why am i so negligent in details like those? i'm seriously demoralised after all that stuff. why can't i be better?

i'm really losing faith. if he can tease me so blatantly about it, i guess it's really nothing if not there would have been something right? sigh. if only there's a Ctrl-Z in my life i think i would have clicked that button for many times. ):
1:39 AM

gosh i can't resist blogging~ and i have been using funtastic and ~ lately. hahaha. FUNTASTIC! everyone thinks i'm too stressed cuz i have this irritating and bigass pimple above my upper lip (when i stuck nexcare pimple patch on it desmond had wondered how come my pimple is so nicely rounded! lol) which wilmond felt like poking it, and i seem to be damn high all the time.

ytd because of shakespearean play act 5 scene 8 i was outside coughing along with xinying peizhi laoda! haha damn funny. then after that i carried my camera around to take photos of jasper foo's posters! i think he'll kill me for posting the photo up if he finds my blog but i have nothing to worry cuz he wun find! wahhaha. so funtastic la, he celebrated his birthday twice! though i dunno what happened to him in the wee hours of this morning. :D



his retarded photo! was all over the place - reading room's door, the door to meeting room, the two main pillars of linkbridge, my level's girl toilet's door, 2 walls on my level, junfeng's room door and many many more! hahahaha. :D (fyi clement is his younger bro but it's not written by him)

oh did i mention we had a funtastic combined birthday celebration last wednesday! for yuenyin clement (they share the same birthday on 14th!) jasper (17th) huiee (16th). it was a major scam as we scammed jasper (the main highlight of the show) and huiee (clement kinda guessed it and yuenyin was totally kept in the dark)! and we had 3 cameras to video everything down! 1 webcam, 1 video cam and 1 normal cam! i watched the videos in the wee hours of friday morning and i ended up not being able to go for breakfast with changtai cuz i slept! ):

gonna mug like mad now. yes i'm a damn procrastinator. desmond was like so annoyed/pissed when i told him i wanna go for asjab's campfire this friday. lormee said he will smack me. :x i'm still undecided. but for sure i'm going home cuz i wanna get a new laptop! it died on me on sunday morning at 3.30am. and i ended up making a trip home just to take the enclosure for my hdd. ): now i'm using van's spare laptop!

and i need to change my sleeping habits. last thursday i didn't sleep (ok la 45 mins which was the crucial time. zzz), friday i think i slept at like 4plus, saturday 7am (which is sunday actually), sunday 5plus, and ytd i went back to my room (my roommate sleeping so i went over to jason's room to study) at 6. and i saw one of my level's resident in proper attire setting out at that time! i think he's gonna queue at leeweenam library. ownage mans. :x thankfully my first paper starts at 5 though. haha. :x

your mere presence unsettles me, and i don't know how exactly should i behave around you. the barrier seems to be diminishing, but i know it's still there. i don't know if i'm expecting anything. maybe i do, but i'm not sure if that's what i really want. but then again, it is impossible for anything to happen, right?

1:53 PM

是有過幾個不錯對象
8:57 PM

a short entry before i start my preparation for tomorrow's french oral! i'm crossing my fingers about how much i can memorise! :x
11:14 PM

城市里 小星星
8:24 PM

有个年轻美丽的女孩，出身豪门，家产丰厚，又多才多艺，日子过得很好。
3:46 AM