i mean, it's 3am in the morning and i'm still wide awake. yesterday i was also online until 3am, commenting on people's facebook status and albums. (fb is getting really addictive, esp when your new friends sleep around the same time as you do) and i'm supposed to wake up at 730 so that i will reach hq at 9am. madness. i think i will become a zombie for the whole day later. remind me next week that i need to sleep at 11pm on saturday night, just so that i can run without having any sort of hangover on sunday. i think i shld worry about my timing for the 10km but everyone around me is like aiya it's only 10km no kick! and i hafta explain to them that my last serious run is 5km and that's when i was sec4. but then again i ran quite a bit during otc camp but that's 3 months ago. rahhh. i shall panick on sunday because william said he will wait for me at the finishing line, ie he will not wait for me. HMPH!

anyway. just now while i was sorting out my wallet (which is rotting in my deuter backpack for the past few weeks cuz i'm now using my hp pouch to hold the essentials - money ezlink etc) when i pulled out quite a number of movie ticket stubs. put them into the yellow Precious Moments box which i've bought in secondary school and i poured out the contents of the box impulsively. went through the numerous ticket stubs and neoprints and suddenly all the memories of my secondary school and jc days came back.

i can still vaguely remember i watched which movie with who, and the fun times i had with the various friends who took the neoprints with me. most of the neoprints are taken with celine yy fy during our comp days and looking back, i missed those days when we spent hours in school training on fa home nursing and fd. i still keep the home nursing notes which i used to teach the juniors during their home nursing trainings, and qingliang's 10 fa cases which are kinda dirty with the fake blood he used to make. even though we may be in different places now (ok me and yy are still in pulau ntu together), those days were definitely one of the best times in my life.

though i'm starting to struggle to catch up with the numerous readings that had came along my way (probably because i spent too much time chatting and having fun with blk47 ppl), or that i'm frustrated with making decisions all the time, i would say it's the time of my life now. i became the blk head of 47 as i had wished to be, i have made many friends (and will continue making) across the 4 blocks and in odac, i have quite a clear idea of what i want to do for at least the next 3 years, and i've finally freed myself from the emotional struggle that i had a few days ago.

thus i would say all's good!

i will brace myself for the busy life ahead as trainings for sports, recreational games and dance, numerous readings and presentations and tutorials, and odac meetings start to come in.

in the end i dropped by odac agm for a while at 630 to chat with aether ppl and then rushed back to hall for alan's dance class with some of the bagos ppl and we formed GIG! haha. it's a secret among us! (: and the dance class is shiok i tell you! learned many new stuff from alan! i'm super glad that i've decided to go for the class.

after the dance class rushed back to lt5 for odac agm (still having speeches!). chatted with the aether ppl and seniors. guohua and liseng got elected into office as Logistics Officers! only found out that they ran for main comm on tuesday lor. basket. and phy got her choice as adsports spo! huat ah! haha. now i can't wait for the subcomm interview next week. i have a feeling quite a number of ppl want to get into atc. :x

after agm went out for supper with karen alvin gilbert jingchu! thanks to alvin who helped to convince the rest to have supper nearby instead of beauty world, so that gilbert can drive me back to hall later! :D (but that didn't stop me from teasing him and karen. hoho) went to the place beside city harvest church, and we ended up only drinking teh over there. jingchu wanted to eat roti prata but there don't have, alvin doesnt want to eat cuz late alrdy, karen's ok with eating but the rest not eating so we all ended up not eating. damn funny ok.

reached back hall at 1am plus and walked past games room to find ppl inside. so i went in to kaypoh abit and found some of the jcrc nominees inside with jareth. started chatting with them as some of them asked me abt their competitors and we moved from games room to the link bridge to talk. along the way met wenxin who told me she gave blk46 tees to 47 blk reps! gina told me that it's weiwen who asked wenxin if they got extra 46 tees. thanks to them! :D (but S is still damn big. lol)

went up to shower cuz i was damn smelly and i found warlocks girls (gina xinying ziai) + candee (ziai's roomie) + hansel + junfeng in xinying's room chatting. then i went past liling's room which was open and she was showing her cheerleading dance moves to mingda. damn happening la. quickly showered and went down to the link bridge to continue chatting with them and got their contacts. even stopped thomas to get him to talk to them. chatted until 2am plus before we finally dispersed and went back to our places. i joined the group in xinying's room after talking to clair (liling's roomie) in liling & her room. it was until ytd then i realised it is an open secret and apparently there are quite a number of people who don't think it's good.

i dunno why i told the group that jasper asked me earlier on if i want to drink but i just did, and junfeng asked me to ask jasper to join us in drinking. got some ice and i brought out my baileys original while junfeng brought down his grey goose vodka and johnnie walker black label. was quite shiok and the guys laughed at me when i attempted to look at my econs notes and then my french while drinking. lol. eventually ended up standing outside with gina jasper junfeng and chatted abt alcohol and stuff. then talked abt anime, and jasper + junfeng got amazed that gina watches alot of anime.

eventually they finished the baileys (jasper kept apologizing for finishing it. lol. i only drank abit!) and abit of johnnie walker and we finally went back to our rooms at 6am. and that motivated me to skip school today. hahaa. but i promise to be more focused and to wake up for lectures even if i sleep at 6am in the future. i'm totally relying on yuenyin for the notes alrdy. :P

gonna go home soon! but too lazy to move around sia. haha.

我以为我们是朋友，我以为你是知道我就是这样乱闯进房间（如果门是关着的我会敲，如果里面的人在忙我不会吵），我以为你会感谢我拿绷带帮你把在伤口上的纱布黏得更稳。

我错了。

我有猜你凶我是因为我刚上任的原因，但是当我转过头看着她进来你房间的时候，我才明白你凶我是因为你在等她进来，不要我打扰。要不然过后我还你汤匙顺便调侃你们两个的时候，你不会有那么不像你会有的傻笑挂在你的脸上。

是认真的吧，至少我注意到的结论是如此。其他人也大概那么认为。那这是不是代表了我以后不能随意进出你的房间呢？这是不是代表我们以后连朋友都做不好呢？我很想一直这样生你的气，让你知道你的态度是多么的恶劣，可是我过后调侃了你们，所以你应该是当做我没放在心上吧。毕竟有人跟我说，你的态度有时就是这么的恶劣，这么的不解人意。

我不是不知道你其实会对朋友好，可是你只是对特定的人很温柔，就像昨天我看到你跟她轻声细语的模样。但是你对其他人嘴巴就会变得很贱，你知道有人很讨厌你这样吗？我想你对自己已经太有自信所以不会去理会到底有谁对你不满吧，反正只要上头的人喜欢你就够了。

我宁愿你过去她的房间，也不要她来你的房间（不过我觉得后者的机率比较高，因为你室友的女朋友也是常来你们的房间），至少眼不见为净，至少经过你的房间的时候不会那么刺眼。

是该转头不理的时候了吧。

but nvm. at least i'm happy with my timetable. aside from the fact that my he191 tutorial is from 1430 to 1530 on fridays, and my only lecture on friday ends at 1230, ie either i go back hall to stone for a couple of hours or i stone in the library if i'm too lazy to go back.

this few weeks of school have been great. almost all my nights are filled with something to do, ranging from chionging from can a back hall and then to lt11 in my one night (hall freshmen welcome dinner and odac welcome tea) to just lingering in the seniors' room to chit chat or mug. last night i think mingda was fascinated that me and gina can study in wilmond and yongjie's room for like 2 hours? there's blk supper tonight and i'm gonna run for blk rep (blk head actually) with gina and mingda. has been asking ppl in 47 to vote for me. heh. hope things will go well tonight!


just now went around taking photos of the peaceful blk47 in the afternoon and seriously i can tell you it feels really good, and totally different to the noisy & lively blk 47 (namely level3) at night. it reminds me of those late summer afternoons and i feel totally relaxed. sat at the amphitheatre and went up to the patio to take photos. the sky is really blue! enhanced the blue by switching to vivid blue in my camera. and it's pretty. (: now i really miss the days at home when i would cycle to some parts arnd my neighbourhood to take scenery photos. ): and how nice it would be to have a guitar and strum some lazy songs.

then running. has been procrastinating for the past couple of weeks by telling myself i'm still sick. but at least i've ran twice. ytd's run was abit bad, considering i cant really maintain a steady rhythm for my breathing as i covered the same route with mesy gina priscilla previously. goes to show that running when 心神不宁 ain't exactly a good choice, but at least it kinda helped to clear my mind.

i feel frustration, and it's actually kinda worse than how i've felt in the past. it sucks that after you've promised yourself to do it and you've felt the exhilaration in being able to say that aloud, something just have to pop up to make you feel even worse than before and the frustration then overwhelms you like a huge blanket, engulfing you up. i know i can do it because i've been through it before, but when you're stuck in it it will take like the longest time to get out of it. it takes alot of willpower, and determination. which is difficult as illustrated above in the same paragraph. not to mention i seem to like to make myself more frustrated by keep clicking at things which i don't want to see and could have avoided not seeing.

it will all get better in time.

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已经不想追究
越是在乎的人 越是猜不透

for the sake of myself, and my sanity.

but anyway, the movie is good! it covered many areas in a lighthearted manner, such as achieving your dreams irregardless of your age, abt how ppl can be selfish (like how munz tried to get the bird), abt friendships (the scouts boy with kevin the bird, and the protagonist with the scouts boy) etc. it's a really touching movie and i would definitely recommend to those who haven't watch it. (which reminds me that i didn't manage to watch Harry Potter 6! OHDEAR)

anw the last nie orientation session is good, because i get to know 3 hall 9ers! one of them is my primary school friend shariffa! and the amazing thing is that she just stays 1 door away from me! (gina is my neighbour)

hall life has been rather amazing, like everyday there's sth fun la. like ytd after i came back from the gathering with eileen guakhee melvin at bugis (crystal jade!) i chatted with the seniors! there's this kinda-drunkard jason mehmeh the ahgua (he calls himself jason the great) who is damn funny and i chatted with him. then darren said my (sexy) voice is damn distinctive. lol. junfeng mesy came over to chat too. it was damn funny. then i chatted with gina online till 2am. siao mann.

i think i'm getting quite familiar with ntu already as i kept walking all over the places. like today after hs101 lecture me and yuenyin walked from lt23 to hss building to collect our matric cards, and then we walked from south spine (where hss building is located) to north spine, and i went over to nie to buy the books for reading.

so many things are happening, i guess the seniors are right that i really hafta make a decision where my heart would lie - odac or hall. sigh.

*

anyways wanna blog about hall9 foc. can't write lotsa details because i secretly suspects alot of ppl reads my blog, and that my blog can be found quite easily. like alvin pek who easily found mine because i blatantly wrote ntu odac foot 09. lol.

basically i had mixed feelings towards the foc. because i was in the rejected list initially, but thanks to wilmond aka the fake freshie in aether 09, who managed to like help me, i was called in after someone pulled out from the camp. and then i gave up on some of my commitments. ohwell again.

anyways my group is warlocks. for some strange reasons i got myself into the high mode on the first day of camp, which shouldn't be the case cuz i take time to warm up de. i was crapping to my group mates, like hong ji whom i called as red chicken. lol. and wilmond saboed me to be cheer ic. zzz. left when the orientation games are abt to end, because i need to go for nie orientation, which was ok cuz danson was arnd to help me. i can't imagine how am i going to handle the people later.

the activities are okay, and kinda fun, like the drain walk! omg la. initiation is well, initiation. the main idea is for us to do silly things while blindfolded and be dirty (read: eggs kena cracked on your head). but at least there's the hot shower for us to clean up before we head off for camp christine to sleep. (cant sleep in hall cuz still under renovation for yog next year).

my fave activities would be the fright night (damn good ok!), and the beach day. my singlet upsized from m to l! lol. but as for the sp... no comments. i just happen to not have good sp for the 2 sp nights. ohwell. but i had a great htht (heart to heart talk) with my seniors in the night. hehe. campfire didn't exactly felt like campfire because there ain't campfire songs! i wanted to sing eppo e tai e tai lor! ): and my group got reduced to 3 at a point of time. :X

then the collection of keys. some of us are like kan cheong spiders trying to get the keys first because 1) we want to get into a particular blk and 2) we want to chop chop move in clear up and then go home. got into blk 47 with a good number of people from my og like mesy, xinying, liling, gina and mingda, as well as seniors such as sont and weiwen. i think my level (3) is the craziest one, cuz we are still going into each other's rooms as late as 1am plus. ha.

school officially started ytd and i attended my first lecture. i realised i shld have done more homework in my 21mth holiday, because i felt that i abit cannot really catch what the lecturer is talking abt, but he's a fun dude nonetheless. ha. and i went to see doc. damn sian la, it's like i'll always fall sick after a camp. ):

my nights this week are super busy, eg i had 4th asc 5yearslater outing at thomson plaza pizza hut on monday, last night i had meeting with aiden for the appraisals (all the way to novena! ohmann) and then aether gathering, which i reached 2 hours late. after that it was a impromptu meet up with yy, and then supper with my hall ppl (gina mesy priscilla hansel junfeng jerry jeremy) before going to mingda's room to chat with oliver mingda mesy gina sont. tonight and friday night i have nie orientation and thursday i have hoods skw outing! ohmann. gonna be broke before the end of the week lor!

i'm very glad that i've managed to go for the hall foc, even though i wasnt quite in a good mood throughout the foc, because at least i know some ppl arnd in hall, and i wouldnt feel that lonely. and i'm also glad that i have other friends in ntu, like today i had lunch with zhongli, and i met kokjian (whom i forgot is in ntu. so paiseh la!). and there's also venod who messaged me ytd, as well yy whom i met twice ytd. and shiyun + waikuan whom i havent manage to meet up yet. i guess i just need some time to adjust myself totally to school life. yeah.

hall9 foc up next when i have the time.