Say my name and his in the same breath
I dare you to say they taste the same
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames

Brace myself and let it go
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
Said I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery

Take a chance, let your body get a tolerance
I'm not a chance but a heatwave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette
Pawnshop, I'm trading up (trading up)

I'm the oracle in my chest
Let the guitar scream like a fascist
Sweat it out, shut your mouth, free love on the streets
But in the alley it ain't that cheap, now

*
i can almost hear the cheeky tones in their voices and the thing that i wanted to do right there and then is to grab hold of them and give them many tight slaps.

you are what you want your juniors to be, and if this is the attitude that those retards are giving me even before the course starts, then i would say they are hopeless and might as well don't go for the course at all. we are going the extra mile by checking your status, so don't blame me when things don't go your way when the course starts, because you are not giving us the due respect that we deserve.

if there can be people who make the effort by coming down personally or spending more money to get things done on time, i don't see why the rest cannot do it. it's simply how much you wanted it.

i don't care if i'm gonna piss off many people with my attitude for the next few days or even weeks, because i'm fucking pissed and trust me, this anger will not subside very quickly. don't say i'm unreasonable because i've given enough time, so save that argument, fucking idiots.
3:36 PM

we're all going to tear our hair apart because of otc. maybe not for my boss but at least i would say that for myself. so many things to do and i find myself being quite guilty to always ask boss for advice. but seriously, the higher authorities kept harping on protocols so i shall stick to the protocols.

talked to some of my kids today and i realised there's a growing disparity in terms of mindset. like the ta activities. i was quite against one activity being carried out and they said it's ok cuz jc (CJC mind you) orientation do that. but do they also realise it's at jc level and not at secondary level? okay even though it's just a few years apart but the younger kids' mindset are still quite innocent (though becky had said that pri sch kids at her age was sprouting vulgarities. -.-). ohwellll.

shall sleep away all those issues away and may tomorrow be a better day.

just go away because you're already so far away.
12:28 AM

last weekend was mainly spent at 420 Beach Road, with a group of people who are my fellow comrades. dinners were funny and enjoyable as they normally would and should. i mean, it's been quite some time since i've last met some of them!

ncoc was pretty standard with the lectures and stuff, just that i find it kinda fast that we only had first course day on sunday and we're having MOI exam next saturday already. efficiency? maybe.

missed out sitting in for a few lectures because was talking to boss about otc. (when boss start talking we can get carried away for a few hours) then later on big boss (mrchua) came and we ransacked the otc cupboards. found lotsa old stuff!

yesterday went out with hweepeng for a major shopping trip! walked from far east to wisma atria to heeren to bugis village to tampines 1 and finally tampines mall. i spent 90plus but i only bought 1 top from bugis village! spent 50+ on the body shop stuff - 2 satsuma shower gel (2 for $14.90), satsuma body polish, body shop membership and tea tree cleansing wipes (for me to use during camps such that i would just bring facial wash and then use the wipes for toning. no point packing in the moisturizer and toner cuz they are bulky!)

i bought so much shower gel and stuff cuz i'm preparing the stuff to bring over to hall! (even though i havent confirm that i will get a room but i suppose year1s will get priority!) got accepted into ntu sociology and i just accepted the offer today cuz nus rejected me. ohwell. anyway if you are finding a roomie please find me! (:


the latest album that is on replay in my computer. i thought her music style was rather eccentric (i didn't like poker face and just dance initially) but as i kept watching the MVs on mtv the songs just kept playing in my mind. it's addictive.

not to mention i'm listening to more of english songs lately. ohmannn. then i've stopped watching Boys Over Flowers since last friday. too busy! lol.

i need some inspiration and motivation
9:17 PM

nah i didn't roll. the guys did, cuz there's only 4 girls.

went for Camp HA's OJT today, and met 7 new people (one of the guys is a boatman for Camp HA already). i realised how vastly different we can be. like chase who totally looked like paul twohill-ish kind of emo rocker when i first met him during the interview last week. he's gonna be an accountant at quite an established accounting firm! when he told me that today i'm like stunned.

and the girls. i'm like the darkest (like DUH), with hazel and siowyuan being SO FAIR i tell you. they totally dun belong to the wild like jbac (jalan bahtera).

after listening to the rest's introductions in the morning, i realised i'm like the most laojiao in terms of camping (not army style like what chase, jeremy and julian went through la. think it was chase or shanker who said i got biceps (ie strong muscles) when we are doing the low wall). none of them had gone to jbac before, or at least in their memory and they didn't know how to walk into jbac-sarimbun-camp christine area. it's like totally new element to them. like moving around jbac (i knew that place so damn well ok), doing belaying etc. while belaying i realised some of the stuff just come naturally to me, even though i dun think i've actually belayed before. the last time i did rock climbing was sec3 at emmanuel house, but i doubt i actually belayed la. but eunice said i did well. hehe.


i quite like the scenery when going in actually. beautifull.

i think the majority of us clicked off quite well, and we chatted quite happily on the bus back. but so sad that some of them cannot commit for long. like zahid (who's graduating like next sem?), chase (who's starting work in august), brad and shanker who's enlisting. ohwelllll. hopefully we can do what we've planned on the bus. heh.



my latest fetish. for some strange reason i was driven to watch the show. maybe it's the attraction to see New Caledonia (where they filmed for their overseas trip), cuz i didn't feel the urge to watch the jap version.

it was totally crazy ok. i was supposed to wake up at 7 this morning, and i only slept at 3 plus cuz i chionged like 5 episodes last night. madness. and i went through some tiring activities at OJT today ok. :x

oh did i mention? 李民浩 totally looked like 言承旭 when his hair is flat! like i think ep4 when he temporarily straightened his hair cuz 金丝草 said that his curly hair is digusting. i'm like OMGGGG. and then the ep before that, when he wore a beanie. OMG cannn. the similarity is almost 100%!!!!<33

i think i shouldn't watch tonight cuz i will just keep watching. and it's like i can remember some of the plots from the manga quite well actually. hahaha. see how la. but i'm tireeddddd and tomorrow need to wake up early for sj. ):

anyways i'm BUSY BUSY BUSY. i shall not have the time for those crap stuff that don't worth my time. i need to keep chanting them in order to really stop thinking.

每个呼吸只为自己
9:14 PM

it is now that time of the week again, when i would feel bored beyond my means, even though i have several things to do on my to-do list. not that i'm procrastinating (i am doing my work okay), but i'm just looking for distractions while i do my work and sadly there ain't much to distract me. even the tv ain't that fantastic, but there's always the trusty mtv to rely on.

it had been a very tiring weekend as i woke up v early since friday. saturday had ncoc meeting in the morning and as usual, some of us would nua around in hq before going for lunch. after lunch i walked over to bugis, wanting to get the mahjong paper, markers and blu-tack as instructed by william from popular, but they are having 25% storewide sale and the lines are like DAMN LONG i tell you. so i gave up and walked over to the cathay to pick up the tickets before going over to centrepoint cuz there's stationery shop. met up with gua and mel after getting the stuff and we went to watch Angels and Demons. (eileen joined us 10mins after the movie started) it's a great movie! but me and mel whispered kinda too much during the movie. haha.

after that we had dinner at pastamania and then climbed up to Old School at Mount Sophia. went to Timbre but we only stood outside. bought drinks from carrefour instead. haha. it's great meeting up with the interns! but i want my money! which reminds me i haven't message fel about the pay yet. ><

sunday woke up at 6plus and took a ride on my dad's car to amk to meet up with peixuan to cab over to hq. had instructor prep course with william huishi qingjun px zipeng aiden yuanzheng aishu gekmin arif peijun junhao (both came late). a mere 2.4km defeated me! my muscles are still kinda nua now lor. ohmann. i seriously need to train up my stamina.

the prep course is very meaningful as compared to last year, and i'm surprised to find that the most important thing to me is actually faith. not the religion kind of faith, but the belief kind of faith. the faith to believe, to love, to trust, to be determined and strong.

as usual after that is dinner! (: me william huishi px are like the standard ppl to go out for dinner sia, this time plus qj pj jh. (oh did i mention yz's bike looks sooooo cool? i told him ytd that to ride it over to camp cuz i wanna sit on it. LOL) then i kept telling aiden that must join us for dinner in the future cuz it's a good way to bond. (: chatted a bit with him after that too. must do sth to make him warmed up by the time it's camp mann!

i can't wait for the weekend again.
7:29 PM

disregard the title.

ANYWAY. I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!!!! *cues streamers and poppers flying in

like, finally. fangyi was like such an inspiration that i wanna be because she got it at her first try! and yet i gabra-ed until 4th time then pass. anyway i wasnt really practising much for my 2nd and 3rd test, which falls in the period when i was working my ass off for the productions company.

anyway yeah. passed! i thought i was going to fail again cuz the tester is like kinda frustrated at my speed. HAHA. then he still had that expression when going through my mistakes later on. then he said go watch video at classroom 5 (before that during the test drive the instructor was telling me what to do after passing the test. so zhun!)

then was at home waiting for the letters to come in. $9.15 for speedmail! wahliao really cheat money can. maybe i shld teach those ppl sth about checking singpost for their speed of delivering normal mail. 1working day is sufficient lor! haiyos.

went over to chompchomp for dinner and i would say it's been soooo long since i've last went there. ky's even worse. he can't remember when's the last time he actually went! lol. qj's recommendations were alright, just that the portions are like so not worth the money la! should have taken a photo of the food that we've eaten! tskkkk. but the stingray is HEAVENLY. then that ky made me wanna eat bakkutteh when he mentioned it and said that chompchomp should have bakkutteh. LOL. anyway it was nice catching up before i went havoc with sj over the weekends. (:

庸人自扰
10:55 PM

用你的手 想确认什么
梦的轮廓 还是胸口的跳动
你看到我 并不是我
燃起体内的火 放手一搏

随便说说 玩世不恭
更多内容 上网搜寻就有
你还在 讨论上一秒钟
我早就跳过 到很远的宇宙

哪来的规矩 我听不懂
快翻转地球 敲出新的节奏
我就要引爆 音乐脉冲
瘫痪既有的陈旧

哪来的逻辑 啰哩叭唆
颠倒了前后 中断精彩内容
这就是人生 玩世不恭
请把自由还给我

哪来的规矩 管得太多
快翻转地球 敲出新的节奏
我就要引爆 音乐脉冲
瘫痪既有的陈旧

哪来的逻辑 都你在说
颠倒了前后 中断精彩内容
这就是人生 玩世不恭
改天有空 再联络

*
i have a rebellious streak in me. ha.

i've found a job that's quite dream-come-true in terms of pay to me, budden i doubt the boss will hire me because she's looking for someone who can work everyday (3.30pm-11.30pm-ish), and i have commitments on weekends at least until mid-june. ohwell.

i have another job lined up, budden i don't know how to tell my dad that i've clinched the job. HA. (told you i have a rebellious streak in me already) but somehow i just have to tell him, because this job affects my chances of working another part-time job. :x

been listening to various genres of music lately because i still can't put my finger on the exact emotion that i'm feeling at times. like today when i was sitting alone in liang court's macdonald's doing some people watching (which is not a lot, considering it was like 2plus in the afternoon and clarke quay in the afternoon is quite deserted), i can't determine whether i should listen to sad songs (cuz alone and thinking some mind-provoking stuff) or just some jazz because the mood is so laidback.

anyway i like the time spent around clarke quay in between the interviews. sitting by the window in macs watching the world go by and writing some stuff down; walking down the aisles of meidi-ya supermart (reminds me of the times i spent in Jason's in taiwan); finishing 如歌(by 敷米浆) in kinokuniya; walking along river valley road and then to mohamed sultan road. it's quality time for myself (but definitely not for my legs) (:

22may!
9:35 PM

i always liked going for dinner with boss (read: william) because it usually meant he would treat us to the meal. :D yesterday when the food came yuanzheng took out the money from the wallet just like that (10dollar bills leh) and for a moment i thought it was yuanzheng who's paying, but he said that it was william's wallet. haha. (we went to some hawker centre which they called it as 85 after we nua-ed in hq until 5.30)

and it's ALOT of food i tell you. satays, oyster omelettes (with starch and without starch), otaks, chicken wings and a bowl of bak chok mee (soup) for each of us. it's really alot. so much that yuanzheng don't even have the stomach to eat the cakes which we bought later on at our next stop.

*alright huishi said that william only paid for the drinks and omelettes, while yuanzheng paid for the otaks, satays, chicken wings and bakchormee. so a big thanks to yz! will tell him on sunday. (:


went over to Tampines 1 mall after that, and william was like trying to shut me up as i talked to huishi as we walked in. it's a lot of stores i tell you! puma dorothyperkins punkstar uniqlo espirit etc etc! hweepeng we can consider going over there to shop! :D

went to Teadot at 3rd floor. after buying the drinks and deciding which cakes to eat (peixuan and huishi took some time to decide), went back to our tables and we found william and yuanzheng playing Monopoly on my laptop (yes i downloaded it), with the names so..wahliao i tell you. tsktsk.

as usual with william around we would definitely talk a lot of gossips (we started talking back in hq. ha). about who's with who etc etc. and of course about otc too. so we sat there from like 7plus to 10plus. wahhaha. peixuan and yuanzheng looked bored most of the time, and i told peixuan that next year she wouldnt be so bored anymore, because she can join us in more gossips. haha. william and huishi are astonished on how i can get so many gossips across the zones. haha. i quote william, 我人缘好! :D

then boss decided to be a nice guy and sent the girls back home! (px in amk, me in khatib and huishi in woodlands)

like what my fb status say, there's nothing much in my life now except for sj. from now on until mid june i'm having sj stuff every weekend. this coming weekend is otc prep course, next 3 weekends are taken up by ncoc theory and camp (plus otc course briefing), followed by otc camp. woo. how exciting my life is.

i just realised it's only been one week plus ever since i've left the company. yet it felt like such a long period of time to me. ohdear. 度日如年! that's the last thing i want to feel now. hopefully with so many things coming up time will go slightly faster.

and please stop raining! i want to drive in peace.

*edited:

driving was alright. it was fairly cloudy with the sun hidden ahead, and i had a nice instructor. i like the way he assesses my driving (which is still not quite up to standard. ha) and taught me new stuff. goes to show again how my very first instructor sucked. tskkk.

ohbtw he thought i was a swimmer cuz i was so tanned! hahaha. (i miss paddling. bah.)

11:41 AM

i think this is the very first show that i actually got myself in front of the tv to watch every episode (if possible) on saturdays ever since it first aired on channel u (since it's stimu-telecasting in taiwan too). i like the mood of the show, and how the story slowly unfolds. i quite like the way rainie depicts 默默. there are times i didn't think of her as rainie, because in her previous shows she would always have exaggerated expressions and everything (especially for her 蒋小花 role). i like the way that she quietly influences the people around her (the good ways of course), and being so considerate and everything.

i also like the fact that there is not much hidden 心机 inside, like if 公主帮 bullies 默默, Mars will soon know it and go to her rescue. life ain't that dramatic ok. and 大東! must clap for him okay. this time got more 内心戏 which i think he did fairly well! i don't know why but i still like him the most as compared to the other 飞轮海 members. (: and 一隻! my favourite guy. :D





it's been a few days. i avoided opening MSN window, i avoided looking for your nick, i avoided listening to soppy songs that would remind myself that i still feel kinda mixed inside. it didn't help that when you talk to me on msn you would suddenly disappear and go offline, and you would never, never say anything about you suddenly dc-ing, not even i wrote something after you went offline. it's ok you didn't continue on chatting with me after i wrote something, but it's basic courtesy to tell someone whom you were chatting (or transferring files) that you suddenly dc-ed, right? seriously, i wonder what is inside your head. it's like a black box, with your moods and actions unpredictable.

i told myself not to read more into anything that you've done, because it's meaningless, because you probably just did them for fun, because it's just nothing.

There must be truth in what we hear. Do not believe in anything until we are sure that it is true.

then this. i don't want to verify what is true or not, because it's meaningless, and it wouldn't have mattered.

at all.
12:41 AM

my mum (or dad?) told me that my cousin jonathan got accepted by ntu already, and his results are like arnd the same as mine? (or maybe it's just the fail in GP part, and his was the old syllabus while mine is the new). dammit mans.

people arnd me who knew that i was applying for uni (in fact most of them actually) are asking me how my applications went (even william asked me when he called me earlier on). all i can offer them is that i don't know, because they haven't send me the letters yet. it's giving me all those jitters and negative vibes, and i'm stressed. what charissa said in february was right. but all i can do now is to hope for the best.
11:38 AM

to my utter dismay, i'm still procrastinating. last night i told waicheung about my current state of procrastination after hearing from him that he and yeening are starting to plan for july's afa re-exam and exam already. i even added that i feel motivated to start work, but i'll only start today (it was 11pm plus when i talked to him on msn ma). ohwelllll.

if only it's last year now. then i would be in my 3rd day in london, taking in the beautiful sights. there are several things i want to do in london, like going to Windsor Castle, or buying more pairs of flats from Primark! (yes i'm quite obsessed with it now, for the strangest reason). i don't mind going scotland too. ohmann.

anyway. finally went out with my bike after so long. it's quite relaxing to be out cycling, except for my last lap home when a girl suddenly squealed for nothing, making me brake immediately. and the girls still dared to laugh and say sorry when my face explicitly shown that i'm damn buay song. bunch of idiots. i should have said that louder. wth.

i have done up the attendance form, but i think the procedures might sound abit long-winded and confusing. ha. who cares now la. tskkkk.
8:44 PM

i shall try to find something to write everyday. the other day dean told me that he was writing an essay (of some sorts) and encouraged me to write. but i have no topics to write about so i guess i shall start from blogging. it's some sort of writing for me and i have abstained from alot of singlish. yay.

anyway today was a pretty normal day until the afternoon. please remind me again why i have decided to be admin officer each time i complained about so many things to do for otc. today i've spent so many hours in hq preparing the stuff to send out. i'm not complaining because i reached hq late, and i opted to go without my deputies (because they have school). it's just the sian-ed-ness when i reached killiney road post office at 6plus and one of the employees over there told me the local mail has been collected at 630pm when the collection time for cbd areas is 7pm. like WTH cann.

i've settled one major problem and another one is coming up (or more like it's been lurking around and i'm only addressing it now) and i have only until sunday to finish. not to mention the reply mails that would be coming in from probably friday onwards! then the ncoc stuff! ohoh! now i'm quite glad that i'm jobless now because if not i wouldn't have time to settle all those stuff!

i've created a summer playlist in itunes and it's perking up my days as i listened to the songs! definitely better than listening all those soppy songs. maybe i shouldn't have gotten that song (this isnt the song name) by david archuleta after listening it on tv.

nevermind that's not important. i need to start planning my working schedule (for otc and ncoc. very no life i know. boos)!

你说活在明天 活在期待 不如今天活得很自在

that's right! live your life to the fullest today before you start even thinking about tomorrow! and don't live expecting something. be the one in charge of your own fate! that's what i'm telling myself now. out of sight out of mind!

(:
10:26 PM

(i'm finally motivated to post more pictures here to spruce up the dull landscape in my blog)
(clockwise from me) me eileen gua marie
aaron the funny hairstylist! most friendly as compared to the other 2 hairstylists (they rotated shifts)

gurms!

it might sound crazy, but i miss those crazy shooting days. each day is memorable in its own way. (i'm bored stiff last night but thanks to the bunch of ppl who chatted with me!)

summer's so lost when it's raining in june
2:14 PM

I SHALL BLOG EXCESSIVELY TO RELEASE MY EXCESSIVE AND SIAN-ED ENERGY.

like i spent the past 1hour or so finishing up the meeting minutes and sending it to william to vet, or chat with many ppl whom i havent chatted with for ages. and opening up soo many files to do. yet i'm not close to finishing half of my to-do list that i've done up. wooo.

the weather is looking damn fine outside now with such a clear pale-ish blue sky dotted with white clouds and cool breeze blows in from the windows in front of me but i dun feel like venturing out cuz the sun looks quite merciless. last night at 12am plus there's loads of lightnings and i slept with the sounds of rain.

i shall start:

1. my training routine so that i can actually stick to my marathon plan with charmaine!
2. reading those travel & leisure magazines that i've neglected for so long!
3. reading those books that i've borrowed from celine and bought!
4. loading the movies and shows that i want to watch into my psp so that i can watch on my dvd player!

oh did i mention? the bird and the bee is pretty good. their latest album, Ray Guns Are Not Just The Future, has been on replay since i first started listening at 1pm plus. (:

2:54 PM

MALAYSIA BOLEH!

is a phrase i learnt from my dad today when we went into malaysia to attend an aunt (she's my dad's batch but her age is just like 8-10 years older than me)'s wedding. it's been donkey years since i've went back to malaysia (at least more than 8 weeks) and i quite love the feel of being back there. except that i wore formal clothes so i felt quite out of place as we walked around and had lunch at a shop in kelapa sawit.

went to the Tesco kulai outlet that i've waited to open with bated breath. i would say even though there's some Tesco stuff that i've seen in london (but no pringles rice crisps! or kettle thai sweet chilli chips!) but the basic Tesco vibe is gone. there's this part where the loudspeakers kept blaring some Tesco promotion thing, and that degrades Tesco to the normal Giant or any other hypermarts in malaysia. i was pretty sceptical when i found out they are building Tesco in kulai. seriously, kulai has enough hypermarts.

the wedding dinner was ok, but it's considered v dull as compared to the one right beside us, who blared karaoke music and the host is like running to and fro the 2 weddings. no wonder she looked so out of place with silver knee-length boots, frilly skirt and top (didnt really see properly). at the other wedding she took off her jacket and totally looked like someone hosting a getai. they are like playing techno music or sth! goodness. food was pretty ok, and at one point of time i entertained myself with my psp that i stashed in my clutch.

i found myself kept looking at the wedding photos slideshow, and i wonder if i would really see myself in that situation (ie i'm the bride and then there will be a slideshow of me and my future husband - whoever that might be - playing somewhere) ten years down the road. i can't visualise at all.

i guess i'm an ironical commitment phobe.

after tonight i'm more convinced, so please just let time go faster.
12:49 AM

我有个故事要告诉你：

一天，爱情和友情一起去散步．突然，爱情不小心跌进了河里．
为什么？因为爱情是盲目的．

于是，友情赶紧跳进河里去找爱情．
为什么？因为真正的好朋友会时常在我们的身边，不管你需要或不需要．

但是，友情找不到爱情．
为什么？因为爱情太脆弱了. 爱情之所以会那么容易失去是因为我们没有好好珍惜．

最后，友情放弃找爱情了. 它把爱情留在那里．
为什么？因为朋友会渐渐忽视我们，如果我们不懂得要怎样珍惜和感谢他们．

*
i liked the time spent in kinokuniya (vincent waited for me outside zara even though we went to different sections in kino la. and he called me to tell me he's leaving. how sweet. ha), and walking alone around the crowded place (taka in this case) is an old feeling that i have neglected for quite some time. it's time to pick it up again and get accustomed to it.

i'm quite glad i got persuaded by yy to join them for lunch (everyone who saw me went i thought you're pangseh-ing? cuz jq told them about it. haa). although it's just the 5 of us but it's nice chatting!

it's the friends who will stay for good, thus they will definitely be more important to me.

on another note, i suddenly start craving for cup noodles. had one for lunch ytd and nearly had another one for dinner today. :D
9:30 PM