finally a saturday that i can totally chill at home watching tv, stoning, finishing the diary entry that i had started writing on wednesday, and raiding the fridge constantly. i have a tendency to hunt for food when i'm at home. :x i've even turned down chuiyee's invitation to watch movie after she knock off from work. it's been months since i've last watched a movie! i think it was last year with the guys, watching 7 Pounds. i think. jq we should fix some time to watch movies! it's been eons since we've went out to catch some flick!

next week is one full week of shoot where i would literally work 24/7. i was telling guakhee that day on the cab that we can go get the cheap korean spicy rice cakes in bugis junction (2.50 for like 10 or 15 pcs!) when we are in that area for the shoot! heh. and then there's the haagen dazs ice-cream! woooo. marie said we must save some for her to eat next week.

we interns are starting to warm up to each other, which is good! it will make work more bearable and fun as we get to joke around abit as we work. nice. (:

yes yy we NEED to meet up. i want to hug you when i see you! :D

la vie est bon.
7:33 PM

it's been a week since i've last updated. nothing much, just that zone comp and the first 2 days of shoot had came and left.

worked till pretty late from thursday onwards as we tried to finish as many props as possible for the series, such that we wouldn't tire ourselves out during our non-shoot days in the 1.5mths of shoot la. went back to office on saturday too, and worked until like 6plus. then went over to my aunt's house to bathe and have dinner. then i went over to hq with my lots of barang barang. thanks for the ride even though lavender wasn't raining as you've thought it would be.

did the prep work for zone comp with the rest of the ppl. was in some sort of a high mode with my usual gang around. mr yong also stayed over lor! so cute. :D didn't sleep, probably because i had supper of instant noodles, milk tea and 7-11 mashed potato at 2am.

basically zone comp just went into overrunning mode. so many last minute changes mann. i said overrunning so often i felt like i was like brat when she's around during shoots. LOL. then i was walking around the competition grounds on 1st floor and 3rd floor. towards the end of the competition, i started to stay in the holding room as mr yong and/or rosalind started going out. talked to the comp guys, comforted the sec2 girls, and talked lots of crap with the sji sec3 team. seriously, yeo guangjin can make me laugh until like mad! for some strange reason i just loved adopting this weird indian accent, which venod said that he cant mimick. LOL.

results were well, results. all my juniors had done me proud, because i do believe they have done their best. next year would be a better year aye! and i would need to start doing some planning! after pondering on it for several days i guess i have made up my mind. junyang and chuiyee's advice do make some sense.

then the shoot. it was not bad, but lots to improve on. i think i would start to get total nervous again before meeting kuang yong mans! they kept saying he works 10 times faster than gurmit and esan! ohman. then i have all sorts of bruises on my legs! omg. then i went to buy a new pair of havaianas slippers because my green pair at home is really one size smaller and my trekking flipflops and braziliano praia aint that easy to slip out when i'm running arnd the house during shoot. it's red and white and it's nice. (:

when i got my pay today, i do feel quite proud of myself that i've endured 4 weeks of irregular hours etc. many things have happened in the four weeks, and i believe i can endure through more 4 weeks to come. but then again, it's quite sad that 3 interns had left in this 4 weeks lor. ohmann. :x

i have made up my mind that we should just be friends, because i've realised that we don't click that well. and i've told you very clearly in my last few messages to you, so yeah, just friends. work and sj will be taking up so much of my time that i wouldn't have much time to think about such stuff, even though strange thoughts might pop up in my mind. i'm just not ready, you know?
10:37 PM

i totally loved the sky today! it's such a beautiful cloudless blue! and i was inside the aircon room most of the time, so i didnt have to endure much of the blazing heat. hee. but really! it's even more beautiful through those tinted windows. it kinda looked like those MVs! :D

oh yes i did something on a whim today. and it was partly because i've met arthur while on the way today. hahaha. he really looked like a suspicious criminal in the mrt ad to advise us what to do when we see a potential terrorist with his cap, white tee and jeans outfit today.

we kept joking about that for the whole day! haha. jokes man. and he seemed to get more cock-eyed today with his black army specs. :P


yes you've guessed where i've went to today.

seriously, i don't know what you are thinking. your actions seem to be telling me things wouldn't be the same as before (it isn't and wouldn't be anyway), but why? i have been offered some answers, and i find all of them possible. dammit!
9:22 PM

SIGH

here i am, with a full day slacking at home (other than going out for lunch plus buying some stuff in northpoint) after working for the past couple of weeks nonstop, and i'm complaining i'm BORED. something is seriously wrong with me.

oh did i mention i saw my jc ec (branded good) yesterday at ntu and i got sooooo excited that i'm like abandoning the guys + shiyun and went towards the direction he headed just to see him again. he still looks the same (like duh) and it makes me realise some feelings for some people just wouldn't go away regardless how much time has lapsed since the last time we met.

actually i craved for something to do. i kinda planned that if chuiyee has decided to go to stnicks for z1 fac after all, i would accompany her or something. i was even thinking maybe i can cycle over to stnicks. lol. in the end i reached home at 3plus, it was raining heavily, and chuiyee has decided not to go cuz she's feeling sick.

i don't know how exactly am i feeling about that matter now. things seem to be getting out of my control.

这是一个很难有答案的问题
7:33 PM

okay. i would say things are somehow back to their normal track again, after some twist of events yesterday. just that some of the things are brought up to surface after lying underneath for the past couple of weeks. i'm actually quite glad that i have decided to take the step out, and not becoming like an ostrich, trying to ignore those stuff away. at least i'm relieved, at least i would be answerable to myself that i have done what i can do. and thanks for the advice! especially to the one whom i wanna acknowledge as godsis now. haha. thanks for the eeyore! :D

it's just that i would need some time to adjust, to get used to the previous life i had before any of those things happened. okay i cant get back to the previous life because the people are here to stay for good, but at least and hopefully, in a situation i still can control. i'm having some sort of withdrawal symptoms now, but i believe i should get over it, judging from the crazy workload that would be coming up next. i foresee several weekends being burned due to the shoots over the weekends. not to mention otc/ncoc stuff.

and i'm getting confused. bratina told me i would be doing logging, but i'm following the art director tomorrow to go look at the props and furniture to be used. it's as though i'm doing propping too. yesterday during SCORE shoot i was in charge of props too. aileen was doing the logging for the host links and VOs(voice over). so maybe, maybe aileen would be doing logging and me props. ohmann. brat said cannot cheat for props for that shoot lor! omg. then disha and aileen has school and stuff, so that leaves me and guakhee chionging the stuff! OMGOMG.

but still, work has been interesting. i do enjoy the times when i get to jump into cabs going to various places during working hours (and i can claim the taxi fare). like today i've cabbed thrice! one of the drivers were like asking me what and when i'm working, and i told him i'm working at that time, and he's like shocked. haha. and then also the shoots, though they would eat into my free time over the weekends. i get to train myself to work under stress! so yeah, i love the job. but i feel abit sad that the other intern who joined the company the same day as me got fired! he told me to take care. ):

then there's the people i get to know! i would be meeting one of the most experienced directors in singapore for the upcoming project! and i got to know a stylist who has to work on a fashion show for like at least once a month! he's zai ok! not to mention so nice and everything. you know i was like so tempted to try on those sponsored clothes. so many from topshop! and the foxtrot shoes! ha. jibby and fay are cool too. heeee. jibby is a really crazy dude! hopefully there would be a second season of SCORE and i would get to see them again! (:

anyway, i finally get to rest this weekend! though on saturday bwc will be making a journey to the west and then probably town after that. i really appreciate their kind intentions! (:

对不起，谢谢。
9:37 PM

被拒绝的人，要有接受伤痛的勇气，
但是拒绝别人的人，还要多一份，拒绝别人的勇气。
9:39 PM

work has driven me totally nuts lately. i've reached home at 11 today and i have to wake up at 530. then yesterday i've stayed in the office until like 9odd and thus met up with chuiyee super late and we ended up having a very late dinner (the day before i had dinner at 10 too). then we went to take a very late night walk to cineleisure where chuiyee did a super nice thing! wahahhaha. and that made someone think that we les-ing. haha. the books that she lent me are really good i would say. (and i slept at 3plus, woke up at 6plus)

then today. had a super hectic day, followed by a debrief which made me feel super bad because i think most of the things that esan said had fitted my behaviour. like getting distracted by the cute and talented (he can do kungfu, swordplay and backflips!) boy Liu Jen (the guy in the pic with me) during the shoot, answering personal calls while in office (i should have went outside and answer), dunno what i should do during the shoots etc etc. wahliao i listen until i super guilty ok. no wonder bratina was like looking at me so coldly during the shoot. sigh. tmr will be a better day! at least i'll be seeing the cute boy again. (oh and i've called nathaniel as farrell sometimes, and some of those times his mum was around! OMG)

thus i will start by not going fb (kayhwee - not asjab junior kayhwee but my colleague. we call him kay - got this stunned/surprised look when he went to use my computer on friday, because i forgot to minimize the window with the fb page), not going online on msn, minimize smsing during work (i think shoot still ok cuz sometimes can get sian and need some distraction) and work hard! self-awareness is key. i will be ready when 23march comes!

and the way esan puts it during the debrief, i think i'll have a very intense and scary time when i do logging again for our next project. :x

you know, i really think that my brain and my heart work in different directions. when i thought there's sth there, i saw some pictures, and then i think maybe not. seriously, what am i thinking?!
12:03 AM

i wouldn't be surprised if that my stomach goes totally haywire because of my work. and it is already going kinda haywire (partly because of the iron tablets i guess). :x

in the meantime i hafta go get my stuff done and have sufficient sleep for tmr's long day at work! ohman. (feel free to msg me because i will probably stone a bit in between work. HA)

HOW HOW HOW?! i need to have a clue on what to do!
11:38 PM

I'M GOING SO MAD AND SIAN-ED!!!!!!!

oh man.

i never knew work as a tuition coordinator is sooooooooo mafan. or maybe it's just my luck picking customers who are either very picky or they wouldn't contact you back even though you've called and emailed them about suitable tutors whom you've picked out and smsed to. SIGH. i've been staring at the search page for so many nights that i'm feeling very sian about it.

not to mention i'm starting work at another place tomorrow! gonna die mannnn.

then there's _______. ohmannn. i'm like venting my frustration to almost everybody ok. i dunno what i am exactly feeling towards it! goodnesssssssss. but well, maybe i'm just thinking too much again. :x

fly away
9:44 PM