我站在屋顶 黄昏的倒影
我听见 爱情光临的声音
微妙的反应 忽然想起你
这默契 感觉像是一个谜

我们两个人 陌生又熟悉
爱似乎来得 很小心翼翼
我想问问你 是不是相信
爱来了 这种滋味很美丽

心里有点急 也有点生气
你不要放弃 行不行
我在过马路 你人在哪里
这条路 希望跟你走下去
(这条路 应该如何走下去)

最近我和你 都有一样的心情
那是一种类似爱情的东西
在同一天 发现爱 在接近
那是爱 并不是也许

可不要忘记 你要相信你自己
给我一些 类似爱情的回应
这个世界 很无情 谢谢你
说一声 爱你 我很想听

*
somehow i just went through the entire day in the office listening to this song alone. i felt so conflicting when i listened to this song, because it gave me both happy and sad feeling.

anyways. went through two nights of driving lessons for the past 2 days. the first day was so horrendous that i felt quite despaired after the lesson. but luckily there's fy who shared the same sentiment with me about turning suddenly blur! felt kinda better yesterday, but tomorrow's gonna be the review of everything! i'm okay with the circuits (i'm not afraid of the slopes anymore!) but the lane changing in heavy traffic is still a big deterrent. OHMANN!

then there's ncoc coming up on saturday! was telling some people yesterday that i felt so tired even though i think i've got sufficient sleep! ):

but nevermind. next week is the start of DECEMBER!! lots of gatherings and events coming up! (:
9:45 PM

yeah random.

like today i've finally decided to make some chocolate chip cookies of Nigella Lawson's recipe as seen on Nigella Express. I TOTALLY LOVE HER SHOWS OKAY! even though some said the way she did her shows are like food porn because she loves to go i LOVE~ but it's nice, and going the express way means that i can make some of her dishes more easily because the fridge and pantry are mainly asian foods.

oh i love JAMIE OLIVER and especially BOB BLUMER too. (: curtis stone and anthony bourdain are not exactly my cup of tea. HA.

anyway. nigella decrees that to bake for 80mins, but since i've halved all the portions, i should probably half the baking time too. as a result, my first batch tasted kinda flaky (probably because i've used some granulated sugar) and well, a bit burnt. dunno how my second batch will be like.

nevermind. next time i shall try normal cookies!

i'm in such a chionging-to-finish driving mood now. talked about driving with jiahao4 and yongbiao yesterday because we are like the only three among other people (guojie dean weide zhikai jiahao2) who have learned driving. yongbiao's having his driving test 20dec while jiahao4 got his military licence. how cool.

if i can finish 27-28 today i should be able to do lesson 33 on 2dec, provided i wouldn't get >18 points deducted as i drive along some test routes at night. you know i still do silly things like clutching in when i turn (because need to change down the gear) and i still stall the engine sometimes! i'm more afraid when i drive on the road though, like today i'll probably do lane changing in heavy traffic (3.20-5.20pm is probably like high peak!) OMG.

vertical parking is easy, but what happens after getting the licence? me and yongbiao talked about it yesterday and i suggested that to get our friends out and be A pole (the one that will disappear-appear-disappear as we reverse). jokes.

then i was at facebook just now and saw some pictures at the news feed page. i was surprised to see the connection of the two friends i've known, so i went to see the pictures. then i went to their blogs. and i realised i would still like to see my dearest branded good. it's been so long since graduation and actually you don't look very goodlooking but i would still grin as i looked through your latest outfield exercise photos. :D

i've started applying the gel on my swollen upper arms and elbows yesterdy but they still looked swollen! SADD. ):

edited:

my driving instructor for today's so funny! he would keep telling me to smile and don't be so serious, offer me sweets and even asked me why i don't have a boyfriend! LOL. he's like how can you say that don't have means don't have? haha. it's the most relaxed lesson i had so far, other than the part that it started raining SO HEAVILY at around 5. ong qing liang now i can understand how you felt that fateful night!!
1:40 PM

ok. today's my second day back in btmu (so much for saying really, really last day), and all i have done was to arrange the forms in terms of risk rating (they have been arranged alphabetically beforehand) in the cold cold vault. but at least i can blast my ipod (through earphones) and snack on sweets. HOHO.

don't know who commented that i machiam like having reunion, because everybody got a shocked look and some had said hello to me. :D like one of the delivery guys who chatted with me and gretna who made calls to compliance, deposit and then to the phone in the vault just to look for me. (ytd i appeared during lunchtime) after she called to my phone i've decided i hafta face them (her and annie will nag la) so i went up to export. as expected, as i sit at the two computers between annie and gretna's seat (annie at the computer on e right), they were like gushing. then mrs chua came later. kevin even told me to be on standby to help out in export. -.- but got new temps fresh from ord leh.

and one of them is eddison! i was talking to gretna when i noticed someone familiar at the 3 computers. asked gretna and confirmed that it's indeed eddison. the world is so small! haha. found out today from him that he's supposed to be at the payment side but he went over to LC side to help out because noorlin is on leave. then i told him some export gossip. HA.

then he suddenly became so friendly again. when i was talking to john at the typewriter, suddenly john told me to say hello to him who was sitting beside him at the computer. so i grudgingly looked up (but with smiles) and we waved. then later on when john was getting a new roll of raffia string for me (e one i'm using to tie the forms up are running out), he walked by me as i asked him why he was using e computer (he's now a checker). can't remember his answer, and then he asked me why my face so red (too much bronzer i think) and then asked is it because of my cca stjohn. as i had gone to hq earlier on, i said yes. on hindsight, how did he remember that i'm in sj?

heck. i'm at compliance, him in export. out of sight out of mind! i would probably appear at export during lunch hour to find huiting or john for lunch, and their lunch hour is different from his of 12-1pm.

and i'll tell myself that i MUST NOT go back to btmu after this assignment ends. i went back this time is because other companies would not employ me when i have to take leave for camps and ncoc and sheryl was ok with my off days.

i have swelling arms and elbows! (NOT FAT as what some commented to me in btmu) for my elbow i think it's some elbow bursitis. planning to see doc tomorrow but i have a driving lesson at 10.30! HOW HOW HOW?!
9:02 PM

it's such a long name that i can't shorten it. the most i can shorten is senior nco to snco.

throughout the process i grew from unsure/okay about it to panic at the eve of it. in the past week and today i realised how underplanned i was. i was, in short, still naive about the whole workings of hq and about planning an event. like what i've told yongsiang yesterday, i foresee many impromptus today and indeed they happened. and i panicked like mad!

but well, i have a troubleshooter aka yongsiang around to help me to get our hands on things that i've taken for granted to be always there. too many things have happened in hq, and i didn't know so many things' ownership has been transferred around in the process. the troubleshooter's supposed to be an orienteer, but he ended up doing logistics. how cool is that. ha.

another troubleshooter was derek tan, who showed me that when printer 7010 says toner low, we should take it out and shake it around abit. he was supposed to be only sitting in for the network session and give out certs, but he helped out in settling the pa system and correct the emcees. eileen was shaking before she starts with charmaine!

i was thankful with the help that i have (some of them have summoned rather unwillingly because they only know that they are supposed to get letters of posting before i told them i need their help) because i'm e kind who will be paiseh to get help from the others. but i'm glad i've roped in the help of qizhi and simon to do the casualty simulation and ambulance. oh i've started talking to the sji boys whom i didn't have much chance to talk to during otc too! (even though pingshun's in november but i talked more to edmund and cheehoe. :P) they are actually quite funny! i look forward to future projects with them.

one event down, next event up in 2 weeks' time. it's time to chiong the last lap of planning! then there's the asjab camp we would need to settle asap. and the third event that i'm involved in planning. this on top of me back to work at btmu!

sheryl messaged me on the day i went home with aching arms, which according to derek and simon today, i got muscle strain. probably because we didn't do cooling down after the pumping session. me and ros today were like OHMANN WE CAN'T RAISE OUR HANDS! as in we will be in awkward positions as we tried to tie hair or to push specs or just to tuck a strand of hair behind our ears. ):

anyway. she asked if i'm interested to work till end december. so i asked her about the duration of the project. then she called. she said it's something like the review of the work we've done in the beginning of the year, and i would probably work for 5 weeks (until christmas!). getting us (mak is going back too) to do it because we were the pioneers so we would be more familiar with the work as compared to newbies. then i told her about my camps and she said it's okay! hoho. i've already planned to take the christmas week off, since camp is like 22-24 dec! :D

gonna chiong driving next 3 days and tomorrow's reversing (for parking i think). OMG.
9:54 PM

i finally had my island creamery mudpie. the process of getting to it was quite funny, as peijun directed me to the wrong bus-stop to board 171, and i have to walk around with a heavy bag from bugis to raffles city to marina square to millenia walk to suntec and finally to esplanade. oh it was raining too. i had the good mind to bring along an umbrella!

(i think my bag was heavy not because of the books but because of my jacket and my water bottle. it felt significantly lighter when i was wearing my jacket. but it was my lighter black Puma jacket! imagine it was the thicker white jacket)

i think my driving sucks. somehow to me the pedestrians are not a big deal. i mean, today's one at the zebra crossing has gestured for us to move first but my instructor insisted on braking. and i'm probably too focused on looking at the road ahead (as advised by one of the instructors i once had) that i failed to sight one walking beside my car. then there's the turning into the circuit. i turned too early, forgot to turn the full lot back and i pressed the accelerator so hard that it hit 7 at the tachometer. my instructor today probably thought that i'm some sort of an idiot who didn't know that i always hafta check blindspots when i turn (my first few instructors never told me) and that it's a miracle for me to reach stage 2. anyways i'll try to be able to multi-task, do a better braking and be more savvy in driving! i'll show to ivan that he can't just say it's girls when i told him that i can't multi-task. ha.

i've been chionging so much for the driving that i think i'm going mad. hoho.

life without working is cool, because i get to slack at home and run abit every now and then, but i soon feel kinda bored. people forever cannot be contented with their current states. sigh. but well this time i have lots of books to read, i have shows to watch and i have a room to clean up, so i shall not be that bored.

if there's one thing that i'm looking forward to, it's 12pm of 16november.
7:21 PM

让我爱你 然后把我抛弃
我只要出发 不要目的
我会一直想你 忘记了呼吸
孤独到底 让我昏迷

如果恨你 就能不忘记你
所有的面目 我都不抗拒
如果不够悲伤 就无法飞翔
可没有梦想 何必远方

我一直都在流浪 可我不曾见过海洋
我以为的遗忘 原来躺在你手上
我努力微笑坚强 寂寞筑成一道围墙
也敌不过夜里 最温柔的月光

*
lyrics these days are getting more chim mans. but the tune and the vocals are really lovely.

don't ask me what i'm thinking lately, because it seems like i don't have much idea too.

edited:

ohyes i'm chionging driving lessons now in case you're wondering what i've been up to lately. otherwise it's slacking at home. i think i can really don't work until january mans, since i have enough funds to last me through the festive season. frugal when needed is the key. fy i'll prove to you that i can survive!

but i've wasted one lesson when i thought it had been try-sold. 80bucks gone. ): come to think about it, if i had gone for the lesson yesterday(if i had checked my selling status), perhaps i wouldn't have done the silly things i thought i would never do again. i'll just take it as my moment of irrationality, since i've gotten myself to leave the place immediately after realising how silly i was.

每次我总一个人走
交叉路口 自己生活
10:09 PM

i think this picture is soooooo cute! saw this at bugis junction's nydc in the afternoon when me hweepeng charmaine went to find wedding present for hansong and yuxia. elmo really looked as though he's really reading the menu! poor eeyore is by himself. ):

anyways. my body is aching like mad! went out for a run on thursday and i ended up with aching thighs today and i can't make solid bangs properly while doing footdrills! then my bag was super heavy (with laptop) and i walked around bugis junction and bugis street with that big bag (and a shoe bag). but at least i got a nice bag. :D

went for a job interview yesterday at jurong east (which only 2 ppl knew, because i was talking to them like super late on thursday night). i think i didn't do very well, because i didn't really prepare myself well for the interview. i should have known what to do, since i've once compiled some articles for my previous company on how to score during interviews! sigh. but you know, how i would i know that a company which specialises in providing consultancy and software solutions to the primary healthcare providers would ask me how to conduct camps (for working adults or kids a couple of years younger than me) or if i can take up the job of running campaigns by myself?!

anyways. was running around after that before going over to hq for the officer prep course. started late, ended late (the meeting ended around 1am plus) but at least we were a bunch of crazy people while trying to come up with group names. HA.

then i watched 不良笑花! (i've started loading it since the meeting started at lecture room 3) super funny alrights. but sometimes i'll become =.= by the characters. like really ZOMG. but still funny nonetheless. i was trying to mimick 蒋小花 during our shopping trip after the whole prep course thing. (we had footdrill in the morning) and i'm still quite shocked that chuaboonhoe actually watches the show too! (eileen told me). LOL

ohoh i like 藤冈靛! :DDD when i first watched the show in taipei, i thought he sounded like some guy from china (cuz he sounded quite 字腔正圆) and later on i realised he still have some weird japanese accent. haha but still very cute!

after lunch/dinner at kfc i took 851 with charmaine and we chatted. then at home i chionged the last few eps of 不良笑花 before waiting for ep9 that's airing tomorrow! eggcited.

tomorrow attending yuxia & hansong's wedding reception before chionging over to jesslyn's house for her 21st birthday! i still can't decide if i should wear sneakers or heels. damn.

11:37 PM