sigh. spent e whole of the late afternoon trying to find a decent blogskin, which failed and thus i used back the skin i'm using before diary-x went down, and caching the pages (my diary-x entries) that are available on Yahoo.

i still cant get over the fact that diary-x is down. WAHHHH.

maybe i'll drink the Barcadi Breezer (Ruby Grapefruit flavour) which i got it when i was out for grocery shopping with my parents at noon. or i'll save it for Friday. zzz.

astonishingly, it's already Sunday and tomorrow will be week 9. last week of the first 3 months. goodness.

and one of my eldest cousins (i call him ahlong [阿龙]) is getting married in 3 weeks time. wows. he's the third to get married in our batch manns. first 2 are his younger sisters. at first i tot he got married is because he wanted to settle down or sth (he's arnd 23-24 years old if i'm not wrong), but den i overheard my grandmother on the phone e other day: '生米已经煮成熟饭了' (she was talking in khek/hakka). GAHH! that makes him getting married the same reason as his 2 sisters! =x

but well, they are still happily married till now and their kids are cute! hee. got one initially see me a bit afraid, but after i start to take pictures of him, he start to grin and wanted to take pictures! so cute!! =D

and this kinda made me feel as though time is going VERY MUCH faster than i thought it is lar. i mean, it doesn't seem too long ago when me and my cousins would gather in the two old houses in Malaysia to play for the whole day long during the holidays and weekends. now they don't live in the two old houses and with two married, one in Malacca studying in university, and the rest working, it felt empty when i go back to Malaysia.

sighs. it's like, now we only gather on major events or festivals lar.

gahh. 不想长大! =x

oh yar. update abt 0622 dinner last Friday. hahs.

went home at arnd 11am plus cuz ended early and got nothing to do. slacked at home until 3pm plus. then headed for Anderson for the zone comp meeting. met up with celine jiaqing peijun first before going to the conference room in the library. started the meeting late. gahh.

oh yar that reminds me. i havent do the minutes! =x

anyways. the meeting was about finalising the details for the competition which will be in 2 weeks' time. things like souvenirs, medals, plaques, registration stuff, budget, routes. and i was running late for the dinner! gahh. finally rushed off at arnd 6.30pm after chinping called me, telling me that they're gonna start eating. reached the place at arnd 7.20 liddat.

we sat in two tables (me chinping audrey cheohao weeter renjie one table, cally michelle adeline joanna henry zhiheng gerald e other table). my table was more of the quiet type while e other table very noisy. haha. and they're scared of the prawns which were kinda alive. lol.

but i din eat much, cuz during the meeting i ate a lot of Pringles. =P more like helping ppl cook. but i ate a lot of prawns! hee. and cally actually likes to peel prawn shells! amazing. haha. den gerald keep acting cute. lol. took this photo which got him looking amazed at the prawn which was in his hand. haha.

then got this cockroach which was crawling around and i've killed it by stepping on it. even cheohao's scared lar. haha. then i took the dead cockroach by its feelers and bring it arnd. damn funny. (: and gerald weeter were aiming each other with fishballs lar. rofl.

ate until 9pm plus den jiu go home le. in e bus and MRT train was taking photos like crazy. got this photo with me n gerald which cally said was nice. hehe. can check out at my Friendster profile. hee.

then Saturday went back to HQ for comp training. and i realised the sec2 comp teams are like NA2 and AA2. got rumours already lo! (they say lihui (sec2 de) likes junyao and nadia calls junyao dear. ha) and the sec2 guys think only clemence not ticklish (but azizan isnt there lar) haha.

and i heard some stuff from pingkee which i felt kinda puzzled as to why the other people would noe other than me and e other person involved. =x

aiyas. it's all in e past le.

5 more days with 0622. sadd.

and did i mention i love 神医侠侶? =D

2025hrs
7:23 PM

I'M SADD!!!!!

goodness. ALL MY ENTRIES IN DIARY-X ARE GONE!!!!

that means i hafta restart everything again. all the memories from 2003 november to 2006 january gone! memories like the Cup n Board day (which was in 2004), my Singapore Idol and Project Superstar frenzy (2004 and 2005), my 2nd relationship (actually i'm kinda glad it's gone. zzz), of ASJAB, of ASC, and all the miscellanous stuff. EVERYTHING!

though during that period of time i still have another diary and a private blog, but the diary-x blog is like e most concentrated lar. so when i want to look back into the past in the future, 2003 november - 2005 would be like, blank. when i saw that the diary-x is down but is sending the drive for repairs, i even prepared a template to use when diary-x is up and running again lar!

SOBS.

i guess i'll stick to blogger from now onwards. that means i hafta gather all my links again. BLEAH. and that's HARD WORK okay.

but anyway, 0622 steamboat dinner still rocked. yeah mans. will update next time.

2328hrs
11:20 PM

has been trying to update an entry here for the past 2 days, but due to certain foreseen reasons i didn't manage to complete the entry. hopefully i'll be able to complete the entry today. after all, it's not even 5pm now lar! (:

anyways, have been feeling a teeny weeny weeny blued cuz the days with 0622 is counting down to zero le. left with only 6 days lo. sadd. too bad that we're only starting to have real fun in this past few weeks (meaning we start to crack cold lame jokes VERY VERY often and people like gerald is cracking lame jokes too lar. and in case u didn't know, gerald has once said that he'll only start to be lame when he has opened up to the people around him)

ever since the release of o level results, i have been ponning soccer. cuz i feel that if i'm going sa, i shouldn't be going for the soccer training cuz it's like, i'll be using the skills i've learned in sa soccer lar. and i'll feel bad. then on Monday kiyoko smsed me with the details of the soccer training on tuesday. i've brought an extra tshirt for the training but i ended up watching The Pink Panther with renjie instead. zzz.

and then today liying told me that even though i might end up at sa, i might not be playing for sa soccer cuz their main players are the J2s. but well, i might not even end up at sa soccer, or even sa lar! =x

i think i've mentioned in one of the previous entries that many of us are opting out of nanyang, but today we were like talking about staying in ny, meaning we would appeal back to ny even if we got into our first choice. chinping cheohao and maybe weeter gerald are considering that lar. and some people like renjie cally are saying that they would surely end up in nanyang cuz quite hard to get into their first choices (temasek and anderson respectively). so it's like, majority of the class might end up back in nanyang again. and that tempts me to go back to nanyang.

but the thing is, the appeal might not get through lar. cuz according to conny's MSN nick, there's only 700 places for nanyang. well, if i get into sa, i'll at least experience a day there first before considering whether to appeal back into nanyang anot.

whether or not, i just have this feeling that 0622 will not be exactly complete bahh. sighhs. i'll miss 0622 loads man! i'll miss the cold lame jokes, the card playing sessions, the weekly trip to Yu Kee shop to makan on Thursdays, the hot hot Econs tutorials (which Mr Nandwani has commented today that i seem to sleep a lot and he has asked me whether i've caught the sleeping bug anot), we getting out of sch damn early on Fridays to go makan too, the reminders of which Project X tee to wear for the following day's PE lesson, our permanent place in LT4 (left hand side first 4 rows) and many more. ha.

tomorrow going to makan steamboat! yay! but too bad suren karthini can't go. and then cheohao weeter not confirmed yet cuz they got basketball training. but heard from cheohao that they're ending at 4pm plus or sth. but that kuku say he'll stink. well, ny has SHOWER ROOMS for goodness' sake. and then he say he scared weeter will do sth bad to him. --" he super act cute lar. we were like super deiao diao lar. haha.

steamboat steamboat steamboat!! (:

1717hrs
4:47 PM

gahh. chucked the previous entry away as a draft. so i think only waiching saw the entry.

at that point of time i was really angry lar. then now i've decided maybe it's bad to publish here. it would be better if i just complain out loud to my frens. LOL.

ahh wells. 2 more weeks left with 0622. suddenly a bit bu she. agreed with suren on friday night that we would take many pics in this last 2 weeks! (:

hopefully i can do it. and maybe i'll do it. yeah.

1754hrs
5:47 PM

i'm bored! *(&%%#

anyways after blogging in the wee hours of the morning today, i went to sleep. haha. cuz i'm like, dunno what to do for the next 1.5hr and since i was lying on e bed (cuz my grandpa wakes up at arnd 4am de), so i went to sleep. lol.

and i felt kinda sleepy. lol. think i'm really nuts to even have the idea of not sleeping lar. that should be reserved for chalets and countdowns. (:

reachhed hq late by 5 mins. the rest was having meeting when i went in. opps. and nice venod got marcus to buy coffee/tea/milo for us. ha. and i've drank Ovaltine before i left the house lar. anyway no link. =P somehow milo taste so much better outside. the one i made at home tasted funny. maybe it's bcuz of the weird taste milo powder i have at home. lol.

basically just walk arnd the hq a bit before the Sec 1 Orientation started. e facilitators and planners changed into 2 different colour tees to distinguish. i chose white cuz i saw the AGI'02 Guard of Honour tshirt which i like!! heh. so the facs hafta wear dark blue NCOC 2005 tee. HEH. n e other 2 planners, choonkeong waicheung, wore NCOC 2004 polo tee. my tee rocks man! (:

was kinda messy when the sec1s from various schs stream in. hafta thank the sji guys loads man. ha. they were the labourers lar. and to other guys who helped too. then venod did a welcome speech and then start to spilt the schs in groups and then go to various stations. me choonkeong's main job of the day is to ensure that the groups keep to the designated time. my side job is photog. yeah.

well, i think all the stations not bad lar. played with the YTSS + NLSS group for the pass the message game. got 2 YTSS guys damn funny nia. i dun mind having them in anderson lo. =P joined peijun when she's talking to the two MPSS (MacPherson sec) seniors when playing the same game too earlier on.

after that the e 4 groups are spilt into 2 again. two watch video in LT2, 3 while the other two have Q&A session. and my dear xiao xiao gers feel saddddd. =(

after the whole thing ended, went to BK to eat. met the 2 MPSS guys again. lol. went to chat with them a bit. after their cadets left, we even took pictures lar. i took a pic with peijun and sent it to one of the guys (think he's called nicholas.) via bluetooth. then e 4 of us took a pic together using my cam and got weishen's email.he said he's one of the helpers for comp. so i checked the registration forms at night and found out that he's only sec3 this year. tsk tsk.

then had training in the hall. did prac. celine came, followed by waiching. did quite some prac. the last case was a car accident and i fell asleep while waiching was doing debrief. lol. after prac did footdrill, oso in e hall. then left the place at arnd 4.30pm.

i seriously think that i've got bad socializing skills. now i dunno who to chat with! cuz got no topic to chat abt. =P

2332hrs
11:11 PM

currently is 3am plus in e morning n i've just ended a mass convo online with michelle suren gerald cheohao renjie with the last 2 guys as inactive members who just sit there and watch us talk. okay cheohao still got participate a bit but he's damn GAY lar. always do e taoyan~~ thingy. lol.

still got abt 2 more hrs before i'm supposed to wake up. dun plan to sleep le. hehs. actually i've planned that got mass convo with my ct ppl until 2,3am den i slack slack until 5.30 when i'm supposed to wake up and get ready to get to hq. hmms. if later can get nursing room i might fall asleep while acting as a patient. =x

anyways. today, or shld i say, yesterday (17/2/06), was quite hectic n not a good day for me. =(

think my ct's timetable for friday is envied by many bahh. end at 11.15am and sometimes when we finish our practical early (last period is chem prac), Mr Low would just release us early. hehs.

saw a guard at e 2 side gates n we're like, 'how to go out?' eventually we decided to just try it. and den e guard told us e gates are open n we can go. and all this while got a pe teacher beside him leh! hehs.

went to e coffeeshop which michelle recommended on thursday. i ordered minced meat noodles n i only have 3 fishballs + some fish cake + 1 meatball. --" but e chicken rice not badd. but i would prefer duck rice over chicken rice. =P

after that everyone just parted. was quite aimless because weide congshun (he crashed) havent end lesson yet. =x so i decided to go over to vjc to find shiyun cuz later we going to play pool with the BWG ppl. took 24 with cheohao.

alighted at Bedok. after walking arnd for a while decided to walk over to TJC and see see. budden zhikai smsed me and asked if can go J8 anot, cuz he weide congshun there oredi (zhikai and his class think has gone to rjc or sth). so turned back and walked back to Bedok. then went to take bus to vjc. lol. cuz i only noe vjc there got 55 can get back to Bishan.

den i blur blur after seeing a Victoria Sch guy alight, i alighted at the next stop at Mandarin Gardens. --" eventually figured out a way to walk to e vjc bus-stop. took 55 cuz shiyun said that she still got remedial. then 20 mins later, i alighted and shiyun told me that e guys have decided to go Cineleisure play. WTH. so crossed e overhead bridge and took 55 back to vjc. met up with shiyun yingchern zhaoliang who got conned by an old auntie. met agnes and a primary sch fren who didnt recognize me. sadd.

took 36 to Cineleisure. initially wanted to go for lunch at e basement foodcourt first. found the guys there instead. lol. bought the XXXL chicken chop from shilin xiao chi. think i ate abt half of yingchern & shiyun's share respectively. =x

then got changed and went up to K Pool. but it's full. so we stoned outside for a while before walking arnd Cine and bought presents for hansel kenhan. lol. n i found mini mahjong! yeah man! =D

den went to The Heeren. after a while headed for Takashimaya to eat. i cant stand the BWG guys lar!!!! so niao. decide on where to go oso need to take such a long time. we girls cant tahan sia. =x

went to Yoshinoya for dinner. but only me shiyun dean zhikai zhaoliang ate (yingchern jiahao left first). weide congshun on diet. --"

after that took train to Marina Bay and bounce back.

later got Sec1 Orientation. i wonder how it will turn out, cuz it's like, i've only been to one meeting and only a couple of emails regarding the event is sent out? me and peijun is kinda sceptical abt this event lar. zzz. den after that still got training. GAHH!

0340hrs
3:15 AM

another day.

this time i chose to return home after buying some stuffs at Ang Mo Kio. no point loitering around anywhere when i feel kinda tired. besides, i get to go out cycling! (provided my dad isnt at home lars)

went to cycle around Yishun. kinda like the standard thing i would do when i go cycling. but i skipped my old house area (Yishun St 72), Chong Pang and the Northpoint area. when i cycled through Yishun Park, e part where there is a kinda steep slope and leads to the reservoir at the other side, memories came back. i used to cycle there once with him. and come to think about it, it has been abt six months since that day bahh.

long time never cycle with him le. i wonder whether his skills have deproved anot. =p

but well well, that was all in the past. for the past six months, i kinda chose not to cycle that slope because it's special to me in a sense. but since i've put him behind me, i might as well overcome that memory.

knocked my chin against the basin last night when i was bending down to get the mouth wash. dunno why got blood (some ppl in my ct is wondering why). but damn pain lar!

this morning got quite a number of ppl getting concerned about the plaster on my chin (cuz it was still bleeding even after i've applied a bit of direct pressure. =p). first person is civics tutor Mrs Lee. then it was cheohao. think he wouldn't have noticed if he didn't sit beside me. he even thought that i kena hamtam-ed on the chin lor. --"

today was slightly better bahh. i managed to crap lar. i mean, i've been down with the blues and everything lately. so it's kinda good? lol. and gerald is soooooo act cute lar! i say the display picture in his handphone is cute (he + his gf) and he pointed to himself and said that's e cute one. --"

and it's becoming a 0622 tradition that we would go to the Yu Kee shop opposite Zhonghua Secondary for lunch before Econs tutorial on Thursday. n it's EXPANDING. lol. in e past was like only 14 of us and we just needed the 3 tables in the middle of the shop. now the 3 tables arent enough. cheohao weeter zhaocong zhifeng hafta sit at another 2 tables. ha. but too bad audrey didn't join us. so that makes 18 of us there. (:

then we kinda rushed back to school cuz we're late for tutorial. but turned out that Mr Nandwani didn't come. but it was nice to gather around and watch ppl play daidee, especially when gerald/karthini/michelle/wingyan are playing as a team against 3 other players. (cuz they only learned how to play yesterday) think i would keep that deck of cards as a momento mans. hah.

come to think about it, i think i would feel sad at the end of this first 3 months bahh. even though i don't exactly have new cliques or anything, but i've made friends in this CT and i feel that getting to know them has widen my sights bahh. i've once commented to renjie that i'm a low profile person and is stuck in a cave of my own. but now knowing them, i'm experiencing new things lar. like going all the way to Katong just to eat Katong laksa and finally knowing where's Parkway Parade. (: and trying so hard to settle on a day to go eat steamboat (which would be next Friday! yays! n i'm trying to psycho ppl go watch The Fog. yeah)

and at the end of the day, only a few people in our CT has put NYJC as first choice lar (wingyan audrey henry and not sure abt adeline joanna zhiheng =p) and many of us are going other places (chinping suren michelle cally zhaocong xiying gerald choosing AJC, zhifeng renjie choosing TJC, me cheohao choosing SAJC, karthini choosing NJC, weeter choosing poly).

i wonder if we would still be able to gather together some day. hopefully we will. and maybe we can make e gathering at e Yu Kee shop! hehs.

1729hrs
5:08 PM

wad's wrong with me?!?! *@(&*^&&

something is really wrong. if not i wouldnt be feeling e blues again. n it's past valentine's day for goodness' sake. maybe it's total defence day blues? arghhh.

maybe it could be because i'm probably leaving ny, so suddenly i have nothing to do in ny. it's like, in e past it was kinda packed with activities, in such a way that i would like have only one or two days i would reach home before nighttime arrives. den suddenly i'm freed of activities and i started loitering around anywhere i can go. yesterday was to boon lay; today to sengkang.

hopefully life in sa would be fun, otherwise i would be bored to death. n provided i'm going there for sure. nothing is confirmed until the posting results comes out.

or perhaps i'm feeling e blues because i still don't feel belonged in anywhere. now when i feel bored, i would sms my secondary school frens, but they would be busy with many things, and i'll be left alone. people in ny asked me why i don't want to go home early (and jiaqing envied me cuz i'm sian bcuz i've got nth to do n he's sian cuz he got lessons to go to) when i could. but i just don't want. i don't know why.

in e past few weeks i thought i'll be like e spokesperson for everyone in e class. but suddenly, everyone opened up to each other n i felt as though i'm being ditched one side again.

is there anything wrong with me that i didn't know? can someone please enlighten me so that i can change for the better? and hopefully i can change in time before i get my posting results. =x

last friday i said i don't feel belonged, but jasmine said that it's good that i don't feel belonged, because i wouldnt get hurt easily. but i WANT to feel belonged. all those i've trusted have gone to somewhere so much further away from me, and i feel stranded.

is it really hard to find some friends i could really put my heart in?

2216hrs
10:07 PM

diary-x's down! @*^#$*&#

hopefully it'll be up again soon, cuz it contained memories from november 2003 till january 2006. that's like 25 mths lar! =x

but anyway, coming back to blogspot gives me a tinge of familiarity. after all, i've started off with blogspot initially. 2 blogs using e same account. so actually i think i started off in arnd april 2003. WAHH. so it's like nearly 3 years of blogging for me wors. i wonder if my old blogspot entries are still hanging arnd. hmms.

ANYWAYS. back to wad i actually wanted to blog abt (but it's not as though ppl would come here see lar. it's a NEW blog for goodness' sake!).

have been considering my choices ever since i've received my o's on friday. the one million dollar question: (is this e correct phrase?)

sa or ny?

many ppl with e same score as me is consider jcs like aj. that's like e hottest jc in e moment for many ppl in nyjc. minority is considering njc. cuz apparently not many ppl in ny has below 10 pts. =x 2nd hottest would be a close fight between sa and ny bahh. cuz e scores are quite near.

i've toked to many ppl like my cousins (janice jiayan jiahui), frens (melvin shiyun cally sherry basically ppl in ny) and even Mr Ng (after telling him who i was arnd e CNY period, he still dunno who am i!!). then was thinking thru. then went to sa ytd with audrey gerald henry. and i finalised that sa is my first choice.

after all, sa HAS been e choice tt i wanna go for my first 3 mths. dunno why i was dumb enough to put sa after ny for my choices during PAE. --" but i cant deny that i do like my CT in ny. n *ahem*

yupp. n i do try not to implicate too personal feelings into my decision lar. sighs.

n yar. today's Valentine's Day! yays. bought lotsa choc and sweets to give out. got quite some back. hmms. but still got so many sweets n choc left! think i hafta survive on these junk food for e next few days. after all, i'm gg broke after buying so many things for v-day. yepp.

n i actually wandered arnd jurong east for quite a while cuz i dun wanna go home. zz. thanks to zhikai shiyun jiaqing peijun who replied to my sms-es. thanks to zhikai for offering me to go njc to play and shiyun for actually agreed to pei me though she only ended lesson at arnd 5pm and hafta go home take care of her grandma. yupp.

dunno why i actually felt kinda down after leaving jurong east. felt kinda worst when i went to woodlands regional library. think is e memories bahh.

i shld have avoided e areas near e west. though that relationship has ended n i've moved on, when i go back to those places, somehow i would just remember all those things that i've done at those places. bad bad. shall bring new ppl to those places to create new memories. GAHH.

i dunno what to do regarding him. forget? just treat whatever feelings i have for him like some rubbish n dump it away? arghh.

2208hrs
9:41 PM